Think about it. If your life was a movie, there’d be a whole lot less drama. And probably no high-end super suits, either. No matter how much we love them and their alter egos, most of our favorite comic book characters are essentially just messed up people with superpowers who dress as birds and bats to compensate for their dysfunctional inner lives. But what if our favorite superheroes had the world at their fingertips? What if Tony Stark owned Twitter? Or Catwoman had an Instagram account? Perhaps Hulk would have more friends on Facebook than green rage monsters inside him? Imagine what kind of cool things they could do with social media, or alternatively how much their lives would suck if they were stuck with the limitations of real life. Which superhero would make the best meme? Who would be the biggest freak in 5 Seconds of Fury? Let’s find out!
Iron Man
Tony Stark is a genius and a billionaire. He has a genius-level intellect and is a billionaire. A word commonly associated with those two traits is “obsessive”. And when you think about it, what would an obsessive billionaire do with their free time? Why, obsessively build an online empire, of course! He’d have enough money to buy Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and the tech talent to keep them running smoothly. Plus he’d probably have an iStark app, too, which would be perfect for keeping in touch with his Avengers buddies. Stark’s social media feed would be infused with his trademark sarcasm — and probably a few selfies, too. It would also be a great place to promote his company’s products, like his Iron Man suit and new Stark Industries tech. He would also occasionally throw out a link to articles about himself when he thinks no one is looking. With his relaxed, cocky attitude, Tony Stark’s social media presence would be a perfect mix of snark and self-promotion.
The Hulk
The Hulk is a tragic character. He’s a gigantic, green, angry mess of a man who is constantly fighting to keep the beast inside of him at bay. If he were forced to exist in the real world, he’d be a complete freak. It’s a mystery how he even has friends, let alone a girlfriend. Let’s try to imagine what a conversation with The Hulk would sound like. “Hulk like chicken. Hulk want margarita. Hulk want to destroy! Hulk like smash. Hulk like angry. Hulk angry now. Hulk smash now!” If he owned a Twitter account, his profile picture would be a fist, as that’s the only thing he’d be able to type. And he’d have, like, two followers, one of whom would be a dog. He would like, probably, 12 things, and all of them would be the Hulk, the Hulk, and more of the Hulk.
Captain America
Steve Rogers is the epitome of a good guy. He’s a modest hero who loves his country and his friends. He’d probably be the absolute most chill guy on the planet if he owned Twitter. Captain America’s Twitter feed would also be a great place to promote his fellow Avengers, like Iron Man and Hulk. And he’d also be sure to plug his shield, too, because he’s a product shill.
Batman and Robin
Batman is a brooding, angry hero who hates people, while Robin is a happy-go-lucky young kid who likes to make friends. Together, they’d be the most inappropriate and cringe-worthy pair ever on social media. Their Twitter feed would be filled with all sorts of inappropriate comments, including a few about how hot Robin is, as well as some very uncomfortable jokes. Their Instagram feed would be filled with dark, moody pictures and a few staged shots of Robin making funny faces. And their Facebook feed would be a mix of old newspaper articles about crimes and hashtags about how it’s okay to be sad sometimes.
Superman
Superman is the All-American hero who stands for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. He’d probably be the most wholesome superhero online. He’d share inspirational quotes and “Like” a ton of charities. Plus he’d probably be a super positive person and not engage with his haters at all, ever. All in all, Superman’s social media feed would be a great place to get inspiration, but it probably wouldn’t be the most interesting place to visit. It might be a little too clean and perfect.
Spiderman
Spiderman is a funny, silly guy who likes to make jokes and make fun of his friends. He’d be the ultimate meme-maker, and he’d definitely be a funny dude to follow on social media. His Instagram feed would be filled with silly pictures and videos of himself and his friends dressed up in silly costumes. He’d also occasionally throw in a funny meme or two because he’s a huge dork. His Twitter feed would be full of funny one-liners and comments about his friends’ lives, as well as a few random facts about science and space. Because he’s a nerd, too.
Catwoman
Catwoman is a sexy femme fatale who loves attention and likes to play with her victims’ heads. If she owned an Instagram account, it would be dripping with sex appeal and temptation. She’d be a great inspiration for girls, but not so much for guys. Catwoman would also occasionally throw in shots of herself wearing as little as possible, making her IG feed the equivalent of throwing a brick through your computer screen. She’d be a major attention seeker. On Twitter, though, she’d be a little more subtle. She’d be a bit more tongue-in-cheek and play it off as if she was just trying to be silly. She’d also be posting a lot of pictures of herself in different outfits. It’d be a great place to go if you wanted to see a hot girl in a bunch of different outfits.
Conclusion
In conclusion, comic book characters making their way to the world of social media would be a hilarious experience. We’d get to see our favorite superheroes in a whole new light, and we’d learn a lot about what type of people they really are. So go ahead and imagine what your favorite superhero would be like if they owned Twitter.
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